My birthday is coming up, I was born on July 6,1965. I was my
mother's only child born in the summer and in the afternoon. The following day the
nurse discovered that I had a clean diaper and that was a bad discovery. I was born without an anal opening. Without surgical intervention, I would not live another week. So, my aunt Anne
Herzog and Uncle Deloye drove Dad and me down to the Primary Childrens Hospital in
Salt Lake City to see a surgeon. The surgeon
discovered that my body was complete I just required a small slit to make an
opening in my anus so I could defecate. All of my experience since then has been on
bonus time.
When I was a month old my parents were sealed, along with my
brother Carl, and I, in the Logan LDS Temple. For the previous year, my parents
had been participating in Project Temple in preparation for this day. They had
married young. It was a shotgun wedding. My mother was pregnant but she had lost that
first child. When my mother miscarried that first child both sets of
parents had urged them to wait until after graduation to marry. My parents would not hear of it so they both dropped
out of high school and a marriage ceremony was arranged. This led to a very
rocky start for their marriage.
My father never emotionally mature beyond about 14 years of
age. Both my dad and his father had an
undiagnosed form of high-functioning autism with a touch of hyperactivity.
These are things I never understand until I was in my late 40’s. For decades I
was deeply angry with my mother for the way she raised me. My mother had her
own emotional issues as well. As the
child of an alcoholic who had been sexually abused by a close male relative at
a young age, she had real problems with physical intimacy that were separate from
the sexual act. She also did not trust my dad around other women, when they
were separate, for a good reason.
The combination of these two factors left me strongly attracted
to my parents if emotionally at a distance. My mom and I were always in a dance,
one pulling in while the other pulled away.
We played this dance for decades until her death. It was near her death when I felt if I lost my
mother that I would lose half of my mothers going back to Mother Eve that I
felt the pull to repair this relationship with my mother. To try the dance once more hopefully, both of
us come into this dance for the final embrace.
I sat down and had a conversation where I told her how
deeply hurt and angry, I was for the way she raised me, but now as a parent who
had made his own mistake, with my children, I was beginning to see things from her
point of view. I then ask her about what would happen to my father after her
death. That is when my mother signed a will giving everything to Debra. I knew
that I and Debra could then plan for my father’s welfare after my mother’s death.
For the first couple of years after my mother’s death, I
sister Annette was in charge of Dad’s finances and she did a great job. Saving
enough of Dad’s money that she could pay to reroof the garage. It soon became too much for her when her Multiple
sclerosis (MS) became too severe for her to care for Dad. That is when I knew that it was now my turn. I and my wife were certain, that I did not
have the skills needed to manage his finances, but I pulled on my big boy pants
and did it anyway.
It was in managing my fathers’ finances that I began to
understand my mother’s world. My Dad was
much better at spending money than he was at earning it. I develop some online
tools, with the help of the Logan Medical Federal Credit Union that me to restrict
Dad’s spending habits. This I left sufficient means in his saving account to cover
his weekly pocket money while I paid the bills.
I also found he was paying extra for health insurance which was a bonus
and so I canceled it. I was able to move him to better health insurance with a
lower monthly cost and with better coverage.
One winter when the snow storms were at their worst my wife
ask me to stay with him and come home when the weather was better. That slowing
evolved over time into living with him full-time and his health declined. I would
then call her nightly or leave her a text message when she got off work. I began taking her for dinner dates on the
weekend, which I had never done as the children were growing up. In
a strange way, this only improved our personal relationship.
In the end, after I finished my Dad’s hospice care,I sold his house, divided
the inheritance, and moved home with my wife again.
This may seem like a strange introduction to a poem about
George III and a British King but it is important. Growing up I had one view of
George III taught in my history classes and now I have another view of his
participation in the American Revolution. My views on George III have evolved
as my understanding of my relationship with my parents has evolved.
George III (George William Frederick; 4 June
1738 – 29 January 1820) inherited the British throne from his father and
grandfather. Though he was a British king he was a Germain prince. George I (George Louis;
German: Georg Ludwig;
28 May 1660 – 11 June 1727) George I first had inherited the British throne
after the death of his second cousin Anne Queen of Great Britain.
As part of the Glorious Revolution of 1688, the parliament had
overthrown and displaced the nominally Catholic King James II, brother of
Charles II. They then selected William of
Orange as their next king. His wife was
the daughter of James II's first wife. Part
of the agreement is William could reign but not rule and in exchange, the
English would support his fight with the Spanish to free the Netherlands.
If George III could reign but not overrule his parliament.
If he had supported his American Colonist in opposition to his Parliament then
his sons and grand-sons could then become tyrants and not constitutional monarchs.
on being a Germain prince
He was born a Germain prince.
He, his father, and grandfather,
had ruled Great Britain,
as English Monarchs,
and Germain Princes.
Part of the constitutional compromise,
in the English Revolution.
As a Constitutional Monarch,
he may reign, but not rule.
It was a representative government,
if not a democratic one,
a rare thing in the world,
of his day.
He stood, in a place,
between his English Subjects,
and the American Colonists.
He had been tutored and trained,
that as a Constitutional Monarch,
he. must not be a tyrant.
If in opposition to his parliament,
he sided with the American Colonists,
his son and grandsons,
could then become tyrants.
How then to solve, this disagreement,
between his subjects, and his parliment
was his quandary this day.
