On the loss of my Heavenly Mother

CAROL LYNN PEARSON'S "A MOTHERLESS HOUSE" (1992)

I live in a Motherless house

A broken home.

How it happened I cannot learn.

When I had words enough to ask

“Where is my Mother?”

No one seemed to know

And no one thought it strange

That no one else knew either.

I live in a Motherless house.

They are good to me here

But I find that no kindly

Patriarchal care eases the pain.

I yearn for the day

Someone will look at me and say

“You certainly do look like your Mother.”

I walk the rooms

Search the closets

Look for something that might

Have belonged to her--

A letter, a dress, a chair.

Would she not have left a note?

I close my eyes

And work to bring back her touch, her face.

Surely there must have been

A Motherly embrace

I can call back for comfort.

I live in a Motherless house,

Motherless and without a trace.

Who could have done this?

Who would tear an unweaned infant

From its Mother’s arms

And clear the place of every souvenir?

I live in a Motherless house.

I lie awake and listen always for the word

That never comes, but might.

I bury my face

In something soft as a breast.

I am a child--

Crying for my Mother in the night.