On a need to simply my life

I Agree with A Pagan

Arnold Toynbee - London, England

“I believe there may be some things that some people may know for certain, but I also believe that these knowable things aren’t what matters most to any human being.”

I have spent the better part of my life soaking up information.  I have learned so much now that it is a great mish-mash of data scrambled in mind.  I have Asperger’s, a form of high functioning autism.  I am high functioning enough that you could not detect it unless you knew me well.  The greatest benefit is its greatest affliction.  I must continually feed my mind new information. I have gathered enough information that I am certain that gaining more knowledge does not lead to greater wisdom or happiness.

I wrote a motto for myself a number of years ago.  It is on the masthead of my website mymuzes.org  

“Real growth comes in the margins with rising levels of uncertainty.”

I am married to a woman of simple needs.  She needs a loving husband.  She needs children and she has a need for a place to plant flowers.  That is the one thing she requested, when we married, a place to plant flowers.

I have tried for years to get her to discuss Star Wars, or Star Trek, or John Milton.  She will have none of it.  She is completely uninterested in these subjects.   It has been a source of great friction between us leading to many angry conversations.

I am learning to simplify my life and belief.  My wife loves me.  My children are doing well.  I need to forgive and be grateful.

I don’t think I can stop my mind from acquiring new data.  I entertain myself at work by listening to podcast and audiobooks. I know that this is just a distraction and not real life.  Real life is cooking and cleaning and planting flowers.  Real life is visiting a friend or petting a puppy.

https://thisibelieve.org/essay/17053/